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I was drifting in a sea like lukewarm water with a mood of a somewhat dreamy place. It was an extraordinary long dream, but even so, I didn’t get tired. As the function of feeling bored wasn’t yet provided, the inside of my head was monotonous and blurry. With comfortable temperature and body temperature, it was a world that I could feel only happiness. Among them, I was drawn to sleep that seemed indefinite.
After a peaceful time that seemed to be a year or a week, an intense pressure similar to the headlock of pro wrestling suddenly struck my head, and that peace was suddenly broken.
I felt that this was a life crisis as if it would split my head and killed me. After that, there was a sense of liberation as if I woke up from a nightmare. I was released from that mysterious sense of pressure, and I experienced an open air.
Once again, I was immersed in lukewarm water. Unlike before, it washed and cleansed the body with smooth hot water. Then, I was wrapped in a soft cloth and held by someone’s hand.
My eyes suffered from severe myopia and presbyopia, the world I saw was vague. It was neither close nor far away. The brain became weird as if I was deeply drunk at night because good sake. As I continued to run away from the main factor that cause the pain, the best I could do was to satisfy the appetite and the desire to sleep.
While instinctively sucking human milk that I didn’t know from who, my vision was filled with light and darkness about ten times. It was finally began to clear my head.
[Am I still dreaming?] (MC)
What I kept thinking with my limp thought was that. I could only believe that I was dreaming. However, I felt that I had been in a dream for a long time already.
A few days ago, there was a mysterious headache, but it was a long-term memory in a dream, and that sounded funny.
I was trying to put it into words, but the words didn’t come out because I couldn’t move my throat well. What was this sense of reality? I wonder if I flew to heaven or hell or even a next world.
The last definite memory I had was the drowning scene where I was struggling against cold water. The core of my body was getting cold. As my body couldn’t move, I drank the water and sank in the river. But now, I wasn’t sure about the current situation, but it didn’t hurt anywhere and it didn’t feel cold.
I was laid on a soft bed. I felt like that was my job all day long. I didn’t understand at all since it felt like a dream. It seemed that I had become an infant somehow.
It was my mother that exposed her breast and fed me milk. She cuddled me close together, doing this and that the whole time. When my diaper was changed, I felt like I was suddenly aged and became an old person.
The breasts were small but my mother was very beautiful. I didn’t think that her face was either Asian type or European type, but speaking the feeling when I was living in Japan, I unintentionally would turned around when passing by the people with these faces in town.
However, her appearance wasn’t the appearance of human beings that I knew. She looked completely like a human being by the shape of the ears was clearly different.
The ears were a bit sharp, and her long hair covered the ears. The inside of the earlobe was pink, but I could see it even though the ears were covered with hair from the surrounding parts of the ears. She looked war, but I felt that her appearance was different.
Her spoken words were totally incomprehensible. The woman held me, who was wrapped in baby clothes, at night. She clearly sang something like lullabies with a small voice, but it didn’t make sense at all.
Occasionally, I was baton-passed to the babysitter since my mother was cooking for dinner, but that man seemed to be my father. When he embraced me, I understood that he was a man with appearance that seemed to be welcomed if he walked in Japanese towns. His body was slender and under his light attire, I could feel toned muscles.
It was a body similar to a boxer or a gymnast. I wonder what kind of job he was doing.
Looking at their level of livelihood, it didn’t seem to be like a modern day. The clothes were totally made of natural fiber. Once, I was brought into the kitchen by my mother, I saw a stove which largely used.
In that case, did my father also do some kind of manual labor? No, it didn’t seem a simple labor. Meat often appeared on the table, the house was well made and the livelihood seems to be quite good. However, I had no doubt that he was doing work by using his body.
Anyhow, I could think what kind of work he had yet.
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