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Sorrow and Love Song

(Thank you for reading at bayabuscotranslation.com)

My schedule was becoming more packed.

As part of my routine, I joined Alfred and Rinalee for morning training, and immediately after, I escorted Rinalee to Barwitch Magic Academy. During the daytime, I dedicated myself to practicing the viola, which was an instrument I was not used to playing, together with Grace-san and Alisa’s musical troupe. In the evening, I would go to pick Rinalee up again from the magic academy and board the carriage with her. At night, after eating dinner, I collapsed onto the bed, but ever since that one incident, Shia had been talking to me almost every night. Only after she told me about what had happened during her part-time job at the Conran Inn in Soltaire would she let me go, so my bedtime was pushed very late.

I had been sleep-deprived.

Thanks to my high vitality, I had been barely managing to get by, but even if I didn’t feel physically exhausted, my heart was beginning to wear out from the lack of free time. To be honest, I had already surpassed my limits. Someone like me, who was still immature, didn’t know his own limits, which was probably why I ended up in this situation.

Inside the carriage early in the morning, I was on my way to send Rinalee at the magic academy. My mood was quite gloomy.

“Onii-chan!” (Rinalee)

“…Yeah, what is it, Rinalee?” (Jack)

Every time I saw the smile of this red-haired angel, my fatigue had always been blown away. But now, even that was reaching its limit. My heart was no longer fluttering like before. Rinalee peered into my face, her eyes sparkling. I wished she wouldn’t look at my worn-out face with such an innocent expression. It was poison to my eyes.

“Are you tired lately?” (Rinalee)

“…” (Jack)

To be worried by a five-year-old little girl made me realize how lousy I was as a big brother figure. I couldn’t make fun of Brother anymore.

“That’s not true. Look, see?” (Jack)

Right then and there, I spun a concealed knife around my fingers like a circus performer and then, smoothly sheathed it back. Rinalee liked this little trick, so I had practiced it until I could do it even in the cramped space of the carriage.

“Muu, you don’t look full of energy.” (Rinalee)

“Is that so…” (Jack)

“Then, for Onii-chan… here!” (Rinalee)

“Hmm?” (Jack)

Rinalee pulled something out from behind her. It was a basket full of red forest berries.

“I picked these this morning so you can feel better!” (Rinalee)

“Oh… Ohhh…” (Jack)

I trembled with emotion. I had questions like how she managed to pick so many berries or how I saw a memo in the basket that looked like the handwriting of either Lindsay or Shia, but I set all those details aside and just appreciated Rinalee’s feelings.

“Thank you… Thank you, Rinalee…” (Jack)

Also, thank you, Lindsay and Shia.

“Yup! Um… Work is hard… but do your best!” (Rinalee)

She was so obviously rehearsed it and that came out awkwardly broken. Even if it was a prewritten line, it still made me happy.

I have to do my best today too. I should thank those two when I get home. The fact that they sent Rinalee with this basket meant they could see right through me. They knew I was worn out.

 

—

 

Practicing musical instruments with people who had once been my enemies wasn’t something that happened every day.

At the garden surrounding Melpeque Church, located at the edge of Barwitch, musicians were practicing in their own ways. Some were sitting on benches, others on the grass, all gazing at their sheet music. I had heard that a ruined old church had been abandoned on the outskirts, which suggested that this one was newly built. That was probably why this place was cleaner than most buildings around.

I was among those musicians, pinning the viola between my chin and shoulder, gripping the bow, and struggling to produce proper sound. This instrument tired my jaw in a surprisingly dull way. The longer I played, the lower the instrument’s head sank, which meant I had to tighten my jaw even more to hold it.

Nngggggh…

This was painful. I was starting to think that 80% of my recent fatigue came from this.

“You won’t be able to play like that with such posture.” (Alisa)

“…Hmm.” (Jack)

Apparently, Alisa couldn’t bear watching me struggle any longer and came over. From a distance, she was fine, but up close, she made me nervous. Honestly, I didn’t want her to interact with me much. Still, she was taking the ensemble seriously. That meant she was willing to overlook the fact that we used to be on opposing sides.

Although we had never thought about it when we were children, Alisa possessed a certain charm unique to beastkin women. Her curled horns and fluffy hair only enhanced that impression. On top of that, she resembled that elusive goddess, Kea tur de Dau. It was impossible not to feel tense when someone like that was nearby.

“Use the padding attached to both the front and the back properly. The support on the back side should touch your chest, not your shoulder… like this. Since you are slouching, the instrument tilts downward and adds unnecessary pressure. Straighten your back.” (Alisa)

Alisa calmly corrected the way I was holding it. She reached around and taught me, guiding me hand in hand, step by step. It was at an extremely close distance.

I found myself staring, captivated by her beautiful features. Compared to the time we had met face to face before, she now seemed more reserved, with fewer emotional shifts, which instead gave her the allure of a mature woman.

“…!” (Jack)

She seemed to notice it too, and our eyes met at close range.

“N-no, it’s nothing in particular…” (Jack)

“I-I think you have good potential. Keep it up.” (Alisa)

Our conversation did not line up, and our eyes avoided each other. Alisa’s cheeks had turned quite red.

No, why would you be giving off that kind of atmosphere here? Recently, I had just taken a step forward in trying to distance myself from Lady Eileen. If I left behind a strange impression here as well, I would not be able to face Shia. What am I even doing? I have absolutely no memory of becoming some sort of womanizer. If I sense those kinds of feelings, I need to keep rejecting them firmly, or I will truly become a cheating bastard.

I glanced at Alisa as she walked away. She seemed to still be concerned about me. I could tell she was looking back slightly as she walked.

Why did it turn out like this…

I brought the basket at my side closer and stuffed a handful of berries into my mouth. They were the ones Rinalee had given me this morning. Whether it was because she was clumsy or did it on purpose, Rinalee had left the handwritten memos from Shia and Lindsay inside the basket. To scold myself, I decided to read them.

“Please give these to Lost-san. They’re berries that will give you energy, probably.” (Shia)

“Don’t swing the basket around. No snacking either.” (Lindsay)

““Berries that will give you energy, probably”. Seriously!? (Jack)

It almost felt like Shia had expected the memo would end up directly in my hands. Lindsay’s message was undoubtedly written for Rinalee. Either way, I appreciated it. I stuffed another three berries into my mouth and decided to focus on practicing the instrument. I could not allow myself to get distracted when there were people cheering me on.

 

—

 

(POV switch – Alisa Hailwood)

A deep sigh escaped me. Still gloomy, I returned to the church and walked to the back of the altar. A large candlestick stood on the altar, and behind it, a relief of the goddess Kea-sama was embedded in the wall. When I looked up beyond that, a dazzling stained glass window created an aura of divinity.

I felt like praying for a bit. I put my hands together, closed my eyes, and offered a deep silent prayer.

Dear Goddess Kea-sama, please forgive this sinful me. My sin is that I once used your name deceitfully. And above all, it is that my vow of chastity is beginning to waver. Recently, I have grown thoroughly tired of my own instincts. When I see a man, my body starts to ache in an odd way.

Even just now, by looking at Jack up close, I started to feel strange. Honestly speaking, I do not have romantic feelings for him. However, I have thought since I was ten that he had a beautiful and well-formed face. It felt similar to admiring an aesthetic sculpture, which was the same kind of feeling I had toward Reingard. So, I want to believe it is something different from love.

Now that I think about it, Jack and Reingard did resemble each other quite a bit, coincidentally. As my body continued to mature, this instinct to seek the opposite sex had become increasingly troublesome. I had heard that beastkin tend to experience their first estrus earlier than others and grow into bodies capable of bearing children quickly.

Moreover, I also heard that the intervals between their heat cycles are very short. For pure humans, there is supposedly no such thing as a cyclical heat period. But beastkin are different. Although it varies depending on the species of beastkin, in my case, this rutting period comes once every two weeks. It is probably quite a short interval even for a beastkin. Apparently, it is not a big deal once you get used to the sensation, but I am 15 years old, the prime age for childbirth, and I am currently in a transitional period in my sexual desire.

Without hesitation, I consulted Grace. I knew it was something embarrassing to do, but I couldn’t just sit back and do nothing if I didn’t talk to someone about it. But Grace didn’t give me any sound advice, she just brushed it off with a casual “that’s just how girls are”.

When I look back, I think that was the trigger. It was when Grace started to care about my relationships. What kind of men do I like? What kind of life do I want to live in the future? She started asking me things like that. I remember that she wasn’t in her usual teasing tone but had a serious expression on her face. I think that’s when she started to seriously consider this marriage proposal.

I just want to be able to live a quiet life together with Grace forever.

 

—

 

I spent a long time in silent prayer.

I went to the priest’s room, which was accessible from the back of the lectern.

“Ahhh… ugh…” (Grace)

Seeing Grace writhing in pain on her bed, I immediately ran over to her. Lately, Grace has been staying in bed in the middle of the day like this.

“Grace-chan!” (Alisa)

I immediately cast a healing spell on her, but it only ended up being a temporary relief. I had never heard the reason for this directly from her. But I knew it was because she was acting all high and mighty so as not to worry others.

Unable to bear it any longer, I went to the library to look it up, and judging from her groaning pain, her tendency to sleep during the day, and her emaciated body, I discovered that Grace was ill.

The illness is common among magicians. When magic is used too much and mana is continuously depleted, it seems that it is an illness that robs the life force and causes malfunctions throughout the body. Grace-chan has become considerably thinner over the past five years and has been groaning and staying in bed more and more often. Come to think of it, Grace-chan is constantly consuming mana. The reason for this depletion is the white knight that was captured in Paradise Cyans.

White Knight Tristan. Before that, he was apparently known as the assassin Tristan Lewis Evans. He was apparently a renowned assassin feared in the area as the “Lightning Assassin”. He was a friend of Grace-chan, but disappeared completely after the group that they were targeting attacked his family and the village of his hometown in revenge. After that, rumors were circulating that he had become an adventurer, but for some reason, he ended up standing in Grace-chan’s way.

Currently, Grace-chan’s dark magic “Poison Captive” is used to contaminate the man’s mind and force him into her servitude. This magic is considered high-level even among dark magic, so it has the disadvantage of consuming a lot of mana and cannot be used for long periods of time. But for the past five years, Grace-chan has been using this magic to revive the man as an assassin and keep him in her service. She was worried that two women would be in danger of attracting the attention of various bandits and ultimately, it was for my sake.

It’s no wonder that her mana is depleted.

“Alisa…?” (Grace)

The pain seemed to be over, as Grace-chan, covered in sweat, sat up. Seeing this, tears naturally started to flow, and I couldn’t stop them.

“Grace-chan… let’s stop now…” (Alisa)

“What’s wrong? You’re looking so pale.” (Grace)

I know. Even that relaxed way of talking is actually a bit of a stretch.

“I… as long as I have Grace-chan, that’s all I need…!” (Alisa)

Unable to resist, I hugged Grace-chan’s skinny body in my arms.

It would only make me sad if she were to push herself too hard with a body like that. If this continues, she will disappear from my sight. That must not happen. To me, that’s…

“You’ll be fine, Alisa… a happy life is waiting for you from now on. I’ll make sure of it.” (Grace)

“I can’t call it happiness if Grace-chan isn’t there…” (Alisa)

“It’s not like I’m going anywhere. You’re talking as if I’m going to die. That’s quite rude, you know.” (Grace)

That wasn’t a joke. If things kept going like this, then truly, Grace-chan would…

“…Ah…” (Alisa)

Grace-chan gently stroked my hair as I buried my face in her chest. Even though her body had grown thin, the gentle way she touched me hadn’t changed at all since the time we met.

“It brings back memories. Back then too, you were always crying like this. Have you gone back to being that little crybaby?” (Grace)

That was something from a distant memory. I was born and raised in a conflict zone where the beastkin, the belligerent humans, and the Demons all clashed on the battlefield. I lost my parents before I was old enough to understand anything.

After fleeing my homeland, I wandered alone through many towns. It was during that time that I was abducted and about to be sold on the black market, when Grace-chan saved me. Back then, I had been nothing more than a helpless child. Even now… maybe that hadn’t changed much.

There were more things than I could count that I owed to Grace-chan since then. When she first took me to the water city Dali Amor and bought me cute clothes, I was so happy that I actually got lost. That wasn’t a joke either. I remembered how I truly got lost. Even then, she had run all around that maze-like city to find me.

It was nostalgic. Even when I wandered through nights of loneliness, Grace-chan was always by my side…

It was around that time. That was when I created the song called “By the Waterside of Amor”. I came up with the lyrics when I learned that the word “Amor” meant lover. It was an embarrassing song I sang just for Grace-chan. When I finished singing it, for some reason, she suddenly said, “Let’s sing it on the stage for the carnival’s eve celebration”, and I was shocked.

“Do you remember? The first time we met?” (Alisa)

Before I realized it, I had begun to sing. My voice was hoarse with tears, but I sang so it would reach her clearly.

“The streetlights reflected the two of us on the surface of the water.” (Alisa)

Grace-chan listened quietly to that song. I wanted her to stay by my side forever. Thinking that, I clung tightly to her precious body while dedicating a love song to her.

 

—

(Thank you for reading at bayabuscotranslation.com)