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Moon Floating in Sea of Loneliness
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(POV switch – Shia)
I just learned that the silver-haired magician right in front of me was my parents’ enemy. My hand, drawing the bowstring, trembles involuntarily. My aim isn’t as steady as usual.
A delicate weapon like a bow is supposed to be the exclusive domain of elves like me.
The world turns completely white. In my mind, the fact of my parents’ death rewinds again. I have never been overly optimistic about that fact. The sudden absence of the two of them kept me distanced from the reality of life and death. The existence of their letters was significant. I had a faint hope that they might return someday. But that hope has been betrayed.
…I can’t forgive them. I have lived as an adventurer in Azariglad for five years. Looking back, there were good experiences. I met various people. I had enjoyable days. But I was lonely.
“Yustin!” (Shia)
“Yuu, save me.” (Anfan)
After ruthlessly taking the life of someone else’s parent, to demand that I save his own… I can’t tolerate that arrogance.
I spontaneously released the bowstring.
“…Ugh!” (Shia)
“Tou-sama…!” (Yustin)
“Yuu, did you see? They seem to be in a frenzy.” (Anfan)
It was an abnormal exchange between parent and child. I understood in my head that showing my fangs here would deepen the misunderstanding of Yustin-san. But I could only understand it in my head. Seeing my flustered state, Lost-san also turned around, breathing heavily.
“Shia, what have you done?!” (Yustin)
“I…! My parents…!” (Lost)
They are no longer here. Like those two, we can’t help each other. We can’t support one another. The people who took that away from us are the ones enjoying that warmth the most. That fact is something I can never forgive. After that, I can’t clearly remember what happened.
I drew the bow frantically, and when I realized it, everything had pierced Lost-san.
“You too shall go together. It was your dream to depart together, wasn’t it? —-Brandstifter (Arson Shooting)!”
The symbol of death regarded me as merely an object for disposal. That insect-like gaze. It wouldn’t regret trampling on the dignity of me, a single human. It was the same as what they did to my parents.
Yet this human also claims to be a parent. What a terrible father he is.
The fireball approaching in front of me was the last sight I saw.
—
What visited me was one reality, and this surging water was nothing more than a fluid leaking from my body…
—Shia-chan, that’s just your imagination.
That’s right. Just my imagination. This sentiment that assails me is a mental illness. But, you know, Okaa-san, I don’t have the courage to stop this outpouring of sobs. If I stop it, I feel like I will someday forget about Otou-san and Okaa-san.
Imagination, imagination, imagination… I can only continue. Otou-san and Okaa-san are living somewhere. They are just on a far, far journey, right?
—
One night, Otou-san said we would go on a trip. Okaa-san also loved traveling. They decided to investigate the “Volga Series” that hidden on the neighboring continent, just the three of us.
I was only ten years old at the time. Accompanying my parents, I had many opportunities to encounter various races and religions in an unfamiliar land. Perhaps because of that, I felt I was growing up to be a more worldly and cheeky child than others my age.
To cross over to the Riverda Continent, we first needed to head to a port town. Riding in a carriage for transport, we traveled south from the north.
Both my parents were archaeologists, and our family lived a life of outdoor and wandering existence, so we didn’t have a house. Therefore, our days were spent moving from inn to inn like a wandering tribe.
Someday, I want a house too.
I longed for a place where I could settle down and live comfortably. It was still early morning. The carriage proceeded down the road leading to the Diarren, leaving tracks behind. As I looked out of the carriage’s canopy, a tranquil townscape came into view.
“Otou-san, what is that town over there?” (Shia)
“This area… is probably Solter. It’s a beautifully simple town.” (Father)
“I see.”
If I were to buy a house, I’d want it in a quiet town like this. I thought I would like to live in such a peaceful town someday.
While I was lost in thoughts of my ideal future, a cannon-like sound suddenly pierced my ears.
“Not yet!” (??)
It was the shout of a man. Right after that, a loud crashing sound erupted, kicking up a cloud of dust and shaking the trees of the forest.
“What was that…?” (Mother)
Okaa-san looked anxiously in the direction of the shout. In response, Otou-san, pointing, replied to Okaa-san’s voice as if it were nothing unusual.
“I don’t know. Maybe a monster appeared?” (Father)
“Seems rather dangerous.” (Mother)
“Since it’s the countryside, monsters or beasts can appear suddenly.” (Father)
“…By the way, I’ve heard that child abductions are on the rise in this country.” (Mother)
Otou-san and Okaa-san were having a scary conversation, seemingly disregarding my presence.
“Well then, let’s hurry a bit.” (Father)
However, upon hearing that conversation, Otou-san instructed the carriage driver to speed up.
He was worried about my safety. Usually, both of them were engrossed in archaeological research, indifferent to me, but in moments like this, I could feel that they cared about me deep down.
—But at that moment, I was captivated by the view outside. In the endless grassland, slowly walking towards the forest was a red-haired warrior. The large sword he wielded was flickering with flames. And the child dressed in black who suddenly jumped out. Drawing a light trail, he leaped out as if soaring. Those two were clashing with all their might. From afar, I couldn’t tell who they were. But it didn’t feel like just a simple fight. They seemed to be colliding their thoughts against each other, both sides progressing but not retreating. A battle that only moved forward captivated me.
What reason was there for their uncompromising fight from the morning?
I pondered many things. I had been taught archery by Otou-san for self-defense, but that was merely for protection. I had never seen such a fierce battle before. I wished I could watch how it unfolded until the end. But the carriage hastily passed by that town.
…I want to come back here someday. A tranquil town. The passion of the clashing warriors. There are so many worlds I have yet to see.
“Otou-san, the one fighting over there looks about the same age as me… probably.” (Shia)
“A child? Shia-chan, that’s just your imagination.” (Mother)
“…Just my imagination, huh?” (Shia)
—
The labyrinth city of Riverda, Azarigrad. From there, the Dwarf Street leads south to the Lucur Forest.
It was said that the “mystical power,” which piqued Otou-san’s curiosity, hidden there. We stayed for several days in a village inhabited by dwarves in the forest. My parents often went to the village’s great tree to hear the wind sage’s stories about the “Azalea Great War” at that time.
” Otou-san, Okaa-san, please take me with you.” (Shia)
“You can’t, Shia-chan. The sage is a very important person.” (Mother)
“…I see.” (Shia)
“Make sure to stay behind and behave.” (Mother)
I want to meet the sage. But if she is an important person, it can’t be helped. According to my mother, if I were to be rude to the sage, their investigation would be ruined.
With that reasoning, I was assigned the role of staying behind. As a substitute, they allowed me to go for a walk, at least to the dwarf village’s development site. Day by day, during dinner time, my parents often talked about that sage.
“Sylphid-sama was very cooperative.” (Mother)
“Next time, she says she’ll actually show us the Volga.” (Father)
“That’s great! If we can see the actual thing, our reports will progress smoothly.” (Mother)
“…” (Shia)
As my parents became engrossed in their conversation, I was filled with anxiety.
It felt as if my parents were going to disappear somewhere far away, engulfing me in loneliness.
“Well… didn’t they say that the Volga is forbidden?” (Mother)
“She seems to understand us. She said she would let us see it as long as it was just a visit.” (Father)
“That’s amazing. If we can see it in person, our reports will be much easier.” (Mother)
“…”
My parents spent the night organizing that day’s research notes, and the next day, they packed many of those into a travel trunk and headed for the great tree. There was also my favorite dwarf wooden figure, which I had asked them to bring back for me.
But that figure was also cast aside. When they left me behind, I had them take it with them instead. It was meant to convey, “Please come back soon and give it back to me”. However, this time, that was dismissed. I accepted it, thinking it couldn’t be helped.
I didn’t want to disturb Otou-san and Okaa-san. But once this investigation was over, I wanted to spend some time in that town called “Soltaire”, which we had seen on the way. I thought that much would be permissible.
Around the time dinner was coming to an end, I suddenly asked my parents.
“Will you both stay with me until the end?” (Shia)
“What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?” (Father)
“… Recently, I find myself alone a lot, probably.” (Shia)
“Probably?” (Mother)
“No, quite a bit.” (Shia)
“Shia-chan, that’s just your imagination.” (Mother)
—
On the fourth day of my stay in the dwarf village, during the daytime, I was mushroom hunting in the Lucur Forest. The mushrooms in the Lucur Forest were mostly edible and have few poisonous ones. I busily gathered them, comparing their cap sizes as a pastime.
While I was collecting mushrooms, a deep rumbling sound echoed from the depths of the great forest, opposite the dwarf village. The cries of birds and animals resonated from the forest.
“…?” (Shia)
The rising commotion among the trees. When such things happen, I was told to quickly return to the village. I had wandered quite far, so it would take considerable time to return to the dwarf village. As I hurried back, the sound grew louder and more frequent. The dwarves were also retreating to their houses above the trees. When I reached the borrowed house where I was staying, there was only one note left from my father.
To Shia,
Father and Mother are going deep into the forest. We will return before it gets late, so be a good child and wait at home. Don’t forget to take care of your bow.
Loa Randall
It was scrawled handwriting. Otou-sama, Loa Randall, was skilled in penmanship, but this writing felt as if he had hurriedly written it down. I was ordered to stay home. I followed those instructions and continued to wait for my parents’ return, trembling in fear of the roaring sounds echoing from the Lucour Forest.
Even late into the night, Otou-sama and Okaa-sama did not come back.
Why could this be? Did something happen?
At the age of ten, I couldn’t determine what to do.
—
Looking back, it might have been my first night spent alone. No matter how busy they were, Otou-sama and Okaa-sama always slept by my side. I trembled throughout the night in anxiety and impatience. The only things left were my father’s longbow, the managram given to me on my tenth birthday. That was all. Just my parents’ clothes remained.
I’m scared…
The thought that they might be gone was the most frightening of all. In a shallow sleep, I realized that the outside was becoming bright. Finally, my parents had not returned by morning.
Where did Father and Mother sleep? What are they doing now?
I could only imagine such things, unable to think about anything ahead. At that moment…
“Is Shia Randall there?” (??)
A voice echoed from the entrance. It was a clear and warm voice. I wasn’t entirely unguarded. It was unmistakably not the voice of a villager from the dwarf village. They had a unique accent that made their speech hard to understand.
Then, whose voice could it be…?
But I was in a hurry. Without Otou-sama and Okaa-sama, and with no information at all. I had no time to be cautious, and I decided to welcome the owner of that voice. The moment I opened the front door, a strong wind blew into the room from outside. The wind pressure prevented me from opening my eyes, and it felt as if I had lost consciousness, as if I had been hypnotized.
“Shia Randall, your parents――――” (??)
Who is it? In the dark world, only the gentle voice echoed in my head.
“No, I will grant you special power of magic.”
Special power of magic?
“Yes, the power necessary to live.” (??)
Why do I need power to live? Why am I being given it all of a sudden?
“You will need the power to live alone for a while.” (??)
Without fully understanding that meaning, I obeyed the voice. I felt a gentle wind flowing around me. That wind was warm. It felt as if the wind was drying my heart, which had been in the sea of loneliness.
“When you wake up, you will be alone.” (??)
The owner of that voice advised me as if to guide me. It was a magical incantation for living alone.
“You have been alone from the beginning. But if you pass through this forest and go to the labyrinth city――――” (??)
—
When I opened my eyes, I was in a house in the dwarf village. There was no one around. A longbow leaned against the side of the bed. It was something my father had left for me. But that father was “suddenly” gone. Mother was the same. At some point, I had been living alone.
No, I had been “able to live alone” until now. I suddenly noticed the feeling of a piece of paper in my hand. There was a letter. When I read it, it felt like it had been written very recently.
No, this was just written recently.
“………U…u…” (Shia)
It couldn’t possibly be that I had been alone from the beginning. I couldn’t think that way. I looked over the letter repeatedly and realized that my parents had died. I looked in the mirror. Even though I should be sad, my golden eyes were frozen. And my hair was a deep, ocean-like blue. It reminded me of a calm sea and a full moon.
That was the symbol of my loneliness. The moon floating in the sea of loneliness. I couldn’t recall what expression I had shown until now. Like the dry wind, my expression seemed to have dried up as well.
That’s just your imagination.
It was just my imagination. I had been alone from the start. I will go to the labyrinth city.
—
That person was very mysterious. He was the same age as me, and he shouldn’t have had much life experience. Shouldn’t have, yet his demeanor and tone were very reliable. He showed no signs of pessimism about his situation of being alone.
He claimed to have lost his memory when he washed ashore at the Lucur Coast, but could one truly live positively as a single person after losing their memory?
I wanted to experience that too. As I interacted with him, whom I named Lost-san, I found that I had regained my expressions. Smiling, feeling anger, and crying when I wanted to cry. After Lost-san began to attract attention in the Urban Fraternity, one day, I remembered that I was lonely. I felt it strongly when he was being flirted with by a demon woman at the tavern. Lost-san also had his life. Since we were the same age and in the same situation, I might have become slightly dependent on him.I thought that if I helped with finding companions and searching for memories, I would eventually be recognized as one of his companions.
At that time, I repeatedly read the letter from my father. When I read the letter, I felt as if I was connected to someone. While living in this enormous city called the labyrinth city, I was still lonely, connected to no one. I managed to distract myself from that.
—
During the adventure at the Baila Volcano, Lost-san regained his memory. He seemed to remember his relationship with Irene-san as well. From that moment on, I thought there would no longer be any room for me in “Lost-san”. He always had many people around him, and I thought he would naturally disappear from this labyrinth city. However, Lost-san’s demeanor did not change at all.
I had read in a book that there are many cases of amnesia throughout the world. In such cases, the personalities before and after memory loss do not always align. For example, a usually docile person might suddenly become violent, or a wicked person might change to a gentle nature. But Lost-san did not undergo any significant changes.
That was probably because he had a strong conviction within him. To protect people. To strive for those who are suffering and those who wish to have their wishes granted.
That was his belief. Surely, the secret to his popularity lay in that. But even so, he accepted my arrow and died…
—
The houses in the dwarf village were made of timber from the Lucur Great Forest. A terrible fatigue overwhelmed me. The moment I opened my eyes, what I saw was a rough ceiling made of those kinds of timbers. This is a rehash from some time ago.
I lost someone, and when I awoke, I was alone. The sea of loneliness constantly haunts me. Just like the morning after losing my parents, my loneliness restarts again. I can live alone now. No, I was fated to live alone. Resisting that fate resulted in this again… I lost my precious one…
“Shia, are you okay…?” (Irene)
But there was a savior. Peering into my face with concern.
“Hmph… Aww, the thieving cat has come back to life!” (Irene)
The high-pitched voice of a noble lady reached my ears. My ears twitched in ticklish response. It must be the elf blood.
“Aww… It was Irene who was most enthusiastic about the healing.” (Jack)
“That’s not it! This is… uh, well, yes, a test subject! I wanted to see how far my healing would work! A test subject is just perfect for an animal (thieving cat)!” (Irene)
It was clear to me that the arrogant noble lady was making excuses in a desperate manner. Watching her, my heart lightened.
“Your healing was impressive, but the recovery from such severe burns was thanks to Shia-san’s vitality… or perhaps some kind of blessing.” (Davi)
The butler was also there behind her.
Lost-san, Irene-san, and Davi-san. It seemed the three of them had been taking care of me.
I am not alone.
The magic of living alone had long since worn off.
“Thank you… very much…” (Shia)
I rarely cried. And to cry tears of joy was a first for me. What struck me was one reality, and this surging water was merely moisture leaking from my body…
Shia-chan, that’s just your imagination.
That’s right. Just my imagination. This sentiment that assails me is a mental illness. But, you know, Okaa-sama, isn’t it okay to cry when I’m happy too?
—
It seemed I had slept for a whole week. During that time, when I was told about the events that occurred in Azarigrad, I was so shocked that I couldn’t even speak. The revival of the Azalea Castle and the collapse of the city center. The Azalea Castle, which had been sleeping in the 30th layer of the labyrinth, had revived from underground.
The black knight, Black Corps and the insect-like black monsters, Giant Guardians, crawled out from the castle and attacked the city, causing many people to lose their lives.
Adventurers united to stop the invasion, and although the situation was somehow brought under control for the time being, it seemed that half of the city had been swallowed up by Azalea Castle.
“Why isn’t Undine here?” (Gnome)
“She says she is unwell.” (Sylphid)
“That’s definitely a lie! Isn’t she thrilled that Emped is coming back?” (Salamander)
“She has no pride as a sage when it comes to that seafood… I was opposed to it.” (Gnome)
The three sages were seemingly having a meeting on a pedestal under the great tree. Gnome-sama of the earth, Sylphid-sama of the wind, and Salamander-sama of fire. However, that scene looked like a child’s play at a daycare. I couldn’t feel the dignity of the sages. The reason was that all three of them had taken on youthful appearances.
Gnome-sama always looked youthful. I heard from her that the reason was that she couldn’t regain her “energy” as a spirit after leaving her governing area, the Nihilo Desert. She was always in a state of mana depletion, so she could only be personified in a young form. But for Gnome-sama, it was said that as long as she had the factor, she could exhibit his original abilities without the spirit power. The factory probably refers to that magical tool workshop.
And Salamander-sama, my pet Sala-chan had also lost her spirit power after being defeated by Lost-san, turning into a red lizard. Even when personified, she could only take on a youthful form. The two small horns protruding from her head were cute, even though she was my pet.
Furthermore, Sylphid-sama had also depleted her spirit power during the battle with those from the Magic Guild, becoming younger. She was once a divine figure in a beautiful white silk dress, but now she was a cute girl with green hair in a white dress. Those individuals were discussing what to do about the city, debating back and forth.
It should have been serious, but they were too adorable, making me fidget.
“If only she would at least announce a statement over there, it would be easier for us to move.” (Sylphid)
“A statement? It doesn’t matter, let’s have Lost charge in and smash the castle!” (Salamander)
Sometimes there were absurd proposals, and it didn’t seem like the conversation was progressing seriously.
“That guy is my precious work! Don’t talk about him like he’s a bomb missile!” (Gnome)
“Your work? Ha, that’s a servant of the goddess, isn’t it?” (Salamander)
“Isn’t it difficult for just Lost-san to handle a castle battle?” (Shia)
“—Oh?” (Sylphid)
It seemed that the three of them noticed that Lost-san, I, and Irene-san were watching with exasperated expressions from a distance. Sylphid-sama floated gracefully towards us.
“Shia Randall, are you feeling better now?” (Sylphid)
“Yes, thanks to you.” (Shia)
“That’s good to hear. If you were to die… well, I wouldn’t be able to face your parents.” (Sylphid)
Sylphid-sama hesitated for a moment but clearly told me so without stuttering. It felt like she was revealing all the truths she had hidden until now. It seemed that Sylphid-sama had also mustered her resolve in her words.
“My parents―――” (Shia)
“Yes. There is something I must give to you.” (Sylphid)
As if to interrupt my words, Sylphid-sama added more. Even now, despite her young appearance, her gaze was firm.
—
Under Sylphid-sama’s guidance, we arrived deep into the forest. Lost-san, Irene-san, and Davi-san followed along. The aim was to enhance our self-defense by acting together. In the intricately woven forest, there was an open space with tall trees towering around it. In that space, a small waterfall poured down, and a stream extended towards us.
In the middle of that stream, there stood a dilapidated pedestal. Countless withered papers were scattered on the ground, creating a mysterious space where nature and civilization seemed to harmonize.
“This is the altar where I once kept the Aerial Volga.” (Sylphid)
“The altar of Volga…?” (Shia)
But it had been terribly ransacked.
“To have Volga here? Wouldn’t it be quickly taken by thieves?” (Jack)
It seemed that Lost-san shared the same impression as I did.
“The altar functioned until a few years ago. Because it was dangerous, I moved the Volga to the pedestal of the great tree where I live, but this time, that backfired, and it was completely stolen…” (Sylphid)
The Aerial Volga had been stolen. If I recall correctly, on the orders of Anfan Schwarzschild, Lizbeth-san had gone to secure it.
“So, you brought me here…?” (Jack)
Receiving Lost-san’s words, Sylphid-sama turned back towards me.
“Shia Randall, do you recognize the countless parchments scattered across this altar?” (Sylphid)
That was an unexpected question.
Why was she asking about the scattered parchments instead of the altar?
The answer to that question was within my memory.
I took a step forward and turned my gaze to the aged paper. It was so battered, perhaps due to nature’s erosion, that it could hardly be called parchment anymore. However, when I looked closely, I could see many characters written on it. Those characters seemed familiar. They were beautifully written. The same characters as those in the letters I possessed. They were the documents Otou-sama had compiled.
“This is…” (Shia)
“That’s right. It’s an essay about Volga written by your father.” (Sylphid)
“Why…?” (Shia)
I picked up one piece after another. I was captivated by the many strings of familiar characters and eagerly gathered them. Unconsciously, my feet drew closer to the altar.
“A few years ago… your father and mother desperately protected the Aerial Volga here. An attack similar to the one you received from the Magic Guild occurred here as well.” (Sylphid)
“Otou-sama and Okaa-sama…?” (Shia)
The papers scattered cruelly around the altar. In addition, there were indeed signs of conflict on the altar. The ruined altar had deep scars that were too severe to be merely from nature’s erosion. I suddenly realized. On the day I first met Sylphid-sama, the expression directed towards me had felt filled with compassion.
Could it be that Sylphid-sama felt indebted to my parents?
“…Is it okay to continue?” (Sylphid)
Sylphid-sama looked at my face with concern. Before I knew it, large tears were overflowing from my eyes again. I myself was surprised that I had become so emotional the moment the magic wore off.
“……Yes…” (Shia)
“Then, there is something I would like to give you. Over there…” (Sylphid)
Saying that, Sylphid-sama pointed one hand towards the altar and waved her palm as if manipulating the airflow. Along with that, a trunk case that looked familiar appeared at the foot of the altar.
“Ah…!” (Shia)
I couldn’t help but exclaim. I rushed toward that trunk case.
“Open it. It is something entrusted to you from your father and mother.” (Sylphid)
On that day, my father and mother had packed a trunk full of documents before leaving. Almost all of those documents had been thrown around, now scattered everywhere.
“Your father and mother threw all of that away at the end. They must have wanted to protect this above all else, even if it meant discarding the results of all their research.” (Sylphid)
I carefully opened the trunk. Although it had been made invisible through Sylphid-sama’s air pressure control, it was already in a terrible condition due to aging. What Otou-sama and Okaa-sama left behind in the end.
Carefully, carefully…
Inside the large trunk was an incongruous figure of a doll.
It was the wooden dwarf doll that I had cherished. I had thought it was set aside because it was in the way of storing the documents. But both Otou-sama and Okaa-sama had taken it with them. To keep the promise they had written, “to return”. On the back of the wooden dwarf, there were carving marks that looked hastily done. Even though they must have been in a hurry, I could feel the care they put into carving it.
“To Shia, I love you. Live happily.”
“Ah… Ah…!” (Shia)
The sea of loneliness was no longer anywhere to be found. I had been loved by Otou-sama and Okaa-sama from the beginning to the end. With that alone, I could never claim to be alone.
After that, I cried endlessly. I no longer had to live alone. I could continue to cry for as long as I wanted. Lost-san was by my side, lending me his chest. With every tear that blended into that chest, I sincerely wished to live alongside this person.
“Young lady, um… is that okay?” (Davi)
“Hmph… Just for today, go ahead.” (Irene)
Before heading to the Great Forest from the labyrinth city, my words directed towards him reached my ears just as they were.
Thank you, today, you are my Lost-san.
—
I carried the trunk along with the doll from the altar. We returned to the dwarf village. The time for crying was over. After savoring the defeat, I would move on toward revenge.
I wanted to be part of the fighting force.
“Shia, can you go now?” (Jack)
“Yes.” (Shia)
I, Shia Randall, am a master archer. With the skills drilled into me by Otou-sama and the power of the wind given to me by Sylphid-sama, there was no way I couldn’t fight.
I tied my hair back into a single ponytail. When I need to focus, I always put my hair in a ponytail, that was my style.
“I will take back the city. And also, what Otou-sama and Okaa-sama tried to protect.” (Shia)
“That’s right. It’s not over yet. Even if the city is in ruins, there should still be time.” (Jack)
He seemed even more reliable now. He had been the same height when we first met, but now he had grown so tall that I had to look up at him. His strong body and rugged face. He looked like a warrior, no matter how anyone saw him.
I would live strongly by this person’s side. Being protected was not the only role for a woman. I wanted to face the same direction and live helping each other.
Thank you, Otou-sama and Okaa-sama. I will live happily.
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